When Your Best Does Not “Feel” Good Enough

Two days ago at about 10:30pm my husband and I were in bed watching TV when we heard eight gunshots. The shots were close enough for us to hear but far enough to know it was not happening on our street. Five minutes later a helicopter was flying over the house and this continued for about twenty minutes. We layed there holding each other and continued to watch TV, but the silence between us was deafining. My first thoughts after the 8 shots were fired was WTF, and what did we do! Then my second thought was, If this damn helicopter wakes up my child I am going to go crazy!! I am too tried to do the whole going back to bed routine tonight.
Then the morning came and I woke up with this feeling of guilt and failure in my soul. Guilt because I have my baby living in an area where there are constant sirens that wake her up from her sleep because we live in a paper thin house that is on two busy streets in the city. Failure because we are doing the best we can to change our circumstance but progress is slow. Regardless of our environment, we are thankful that we are still a happy and healthy family that love and take care of each other. And in the words for Frederick Douglass,“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle

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