Mommy Meltdown

Remember the scene from Sex in the City, when Charlotte locked herself in the pantry and was crying like crazy..Mommy Meltdown! Have you ever strategically planned an outing with your toddler and it turned out to be a total disaster? One Wednesday morning I decided it was TIME! Time to get myself some new underwear.  It had been two years since I had my daughter, and I was still wearing my maternity undies and bras.  Needless to say, they were way too big, falling off, and SUPER unsexy. So I grabbed everything I thought I would need to make this a quick in-an-out (30 minutes) shopping trip: snacks, 1 pamper, wipes,  juice cup, stroller, driver license and Macy’s card. No Purse! I even parked my car at the entrance closest to the Intimates department.

Feeling confident that I was prepared for this trip, I ventured into the store. I grabbed my first set (undies) and my daughter started fussing and asking to get out of the stroller.  I told her she had to stay in the stroller. I grabbed another set, and this time she started kicking her feet and insisting she get out of the stroller. Again I told her no, and this time I offered a snack and some juice. She refused both and asked again to get out of her stroller.  And again I told her she could not get out of the stroller. I was adamant, and was not going to give in because I knew exactly why she wanted out of the stroller.  She wanted to get out and run through and hide behind the clothing rack. By now, she was on level 20 (crying, screaming, and kicking). So frustrated and stressed, I took her into the fitting room (it was empty) and I tried to calm her down. I did the whole explaining in a calm but stern voice that she needed to stop screaming and again let her know that she was NOT getting out of the stroller. It took her about 5 minutes, but she was able to calm her self down.  Thinking the tantrum was over, we headed back into the store. I decided that it was time to wrap this trip up and pay for the items (even though I needed one or two more sets).

Before I could reach the register she started up all over again on level 25. So what did I do, I left Macy’s and ventured into the main part of the mall. My logic was, if I let her run around the mall for a few minutes maybe she will get back in the stroller and calm down.  So I handed my items to the sales rep to place on hold. As soon as I took her out of the stroller she started kicking and screaming at the top of her lungs. I put her down and she dropped down on the floor flaring. I was sooooo angry, embarrassed, and frustrated. I felt so stupid for going out into the main mall, thinking that I could negotiate, reason, compromise with a toddler who could not understand MY NEEDS!

At this point I was ready to go. So I snatched my daughter up off the floor and tucked her under my arms (like I was carrying a log), grabbed my stroller, and proceed to leave the mall. However, I had to endure her kicking and screaming as I was carrying her back through the mall and back through Macy’s to get back to the car.  On my way through Macy’s an old lady had the nerve to ask my daughter what was the matter and proceed to tell her she was cute (beat it old lady!). Finally, I back to the car. I strapped her into her car seat and I got into the driver’s seat and started my car. Then I just sat there sobbing. I felt so defeated! I could not understand WHY. Why I could not get through doing this one little thing for myself. All I wanted was to buy myself some new underwear. Logically it seemed fair; I do EVERYTHING for YOU, all day EVERYDAY, and I just wanted to do something for myself. Was this too much to ask? One thing!

So as am sobbing in the driver’s seat, I realize my daughter is also crying in her car seat. So I manage to pull myself together (barely) and headed back to the house . I cried all the way home and she fell asleep before we could leave the parking lot. Later in the day, I called my mother and told her what had happened and she laughed at my pain hysterically…because all I wanted was some new underwear.  Later in the day, I told my husband about my melt down and his simple response was, “Babe, if you want to go back to the mall you can go and I will stay with her!” That was sweet, but I was still emotionally drained and decided I would go by myself on the weekend.

No, you are not crazy if you love your kids but want to donate them to charity some days. If you give them everything in the world and they still want more (blood). If you just need some new underwear, and they wont behave well enough for you to doing something for yourself.  Mommy Meltdowns happen too!!

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