Judgmental Parenting

Is it okay to judge how others parent? What makes you believe that your way is best? What are your hot topics on parenting and why: spanking, potty training, breast or bottle, stay at home or work, TV, iPads, high fructose corn syrup, etc.,? Last week, I read an article by a fellow blogger (on CNN http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/18/living/busy-mother-lean-in-sandberg/index.html)who wrote a post about being a working Mom, mother of 1(with one on the way), a law student, and a wife. She was sharing her story about being a busy Mom, wife, and student. In her blog she openly shared and talking about what she and her husband do to find a healthy balance in the juggling act of life. Well her blog prompted readers, both men and women to unleash a river of hurtful, judgmental, and even racial comments (interracial couple) about her worthiness as a mother, parenting skills, and the future state of her marriage. Is there really a wrong way to parent?

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4 thoughts on “Judgmental Parenting

  1. I’ll begin my comment with the disclaimer that I’m not a parent–but that doesn’t mean I don’t judge people, including parents. I think it’s in our nature to make judgments, no matter what we’re talking about; it’s a way we subconsciously evaluate our own methods, and, on a more superficial level, I think it just helps boost our own self-image. That said, I think that while it’s something we do naturally, I don’t think it’s something we need to share with the world–unless they ask for it!

    And is there a wrong way to parent? That’s such a tough question. There’s definitely a wrong way for *me* to parent, and that’s based on my upbringing and culture, my personal values, and my resources. I can make judgments on how others parent because their ways may contradict what mine might be–but to say someone is parenting “wrong” is like saying their culture is wrong, or their values are wrong–or their religion is wrong. It’s all subjective!

    Great post!

    • Thanks! I agree, judging is a part of human nature and in many ways it gives us clarity and conviction in what we believe and value. However, when convictions turn into a sense of superiority, it can convince you that you are “best, better, and flawless”. Parenting does not come easy to some, and often the model from which parents are working from (their parents) were flawed or perfect in their eyes.

  2. Great post! I think that most parents are more critical of themselves that any stranger could be. Good parents always want to do the best for their kids- so they are already second guessing what’s the best parenting style.. Realistically, in today’s economy, it’s not easy to run a house on 1 income- and a lot of mothers have to work (or be the breadwinner). I’m certain that for most (including myself)- this is met with mixed emotions- pride for having a great career, and guilt for not being at home with their kids. I actually ‘understand’ some of the perspectives of the negative commenters (not the racist ones! those are never cool!)- but the most important lesson is that it’s really NO ONE’s business how you parent, as long as your children are safe, happy, and well adjusted!

    Great post!!

  3. Ugh! The Mommy Wars make me insane. Add in any form of prejudice and it really gets my blood boiling. Can’t we all just support each other? Seriously, it takes a village, yo!

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