Last year a friend of mine was complimenting me of how great of a parent she things I am and hopes she is half as good a Mom as me. To this compliment I first said, “Thanks!” Then I told her after 3 years of parenting I know one thing for sure, there is no such thing as perfect parenting. Last I checked, no one actually wrote the manual, no one read it, and no one has been able to implement the perfect parenting style universally.
Honestly, once I was able to come to terms with this reality; “You will NEVER be a perfect parent”, it was freeing. I was able to admit a lot to myself:
- Some days I did not know what I was doing and my husband did.
- I was able to accept defeat.
- My baby was kicking my ass because, “I am tired!”
- My expectations of having a clean house with a toddler was outrageous.
- Thinking that my child by the age of 2 would be totally potty trained…lmao.
- My child would never fall down the stairs or out of the bed.
- My child would give up her pacifier without the drama.
- Oh and my all time FAVORITE, this would never be me; my child will “NEVER” have a tantrum out in a public place. (because I am soooo not that parent).
The truth is/was, some days I don’t know SHIT! Other days I wing it. And if all fails I read blogs, books, and google only to figure out that everything that is madness in my world as a parent is totally normal.
These days I just take it one day at a time and thank god for my supportive husband whom I am able to share my crazy feelings with, laugh about how insane and rewarding this thing called “parenting” is, and know that I have a true partner in parenting.
I also could not have made it this far without the other “real Moms” that I have met along the way that kept me sane. My sister Moms who understand the medicinal purpose of wine in parenting, the friend that takes your child for 2 hours so you can regroup and recharge, the friend who lets you cry about how fat you feel after the baby and allows you to say, “FUCK!’ out loud.
Now that I have accepted that I lack perfection, I can proudly say that this is my philosophy on parenting:
This is my 3 cents to new parents. What advise would you give about being a successful parent?